You Don’t have to be a Perfect Mom

Instead of having a perfect mom, your child wants to be loved and for you to do the best you can.

I have contact with and listen to what mothers have to say every week. Moms are amazing!

Mothers give up their own comfort to care for their child. Sometimes moms have a difficult time finding the opportunity for their own sleep or food because they are so focused on their child’s needs.

I hear those mommy hearts in the concerns they express. They want to protect their child from pain or hurt; they suffer if they cannot prevent it. There is a desire to meet each child’s need. It is stressful when the cause of the tears is not apparent. Many mothers are struggling to be the “perfect mom”.

Moms can be very hard on themselves. Yes, it is easy to have “mommy guilt”. Before kids and during pregnancy we all had a  vision of what motherhood will look like. In our dream world, our child rarely cries and looks at us with adoring eyes while saying, “Mommy, I love you.” Our child is always obedient and kind to other children. Unlike other peoples kids, our child never bites, hits or takes toys away from other children. We, as parents, are never tired or grouchy and NEVER yell or say a harsh word. Our babies sleep through the night by 10 weeks old. Our  toddlers take two hour naps and never fight their bedtime. We are the most patient and loving mom the world has ever seen. We never repeat some of those phrases that we hated to hear from our mother when we were growing up.

Then reality hits when we bring our little one home. When our child doesn’t fit the picture in our head or when we mess up as a mom and do not handle things correctly, we feel guilty and like a failure.

The internet is full of information about what the “perfect mom” looks like. It is difficult for any of us to measure up to those descriptions of a mother. Some of the groups set up to support moms can instead be filled with harsh and judgmental words for any mother who handles parenting different than what someone else in the group approves of.

Yes, being a mom is difficult and you are not going to do it perfectly. That is OK.

Don’t try to be a perfect mom. Instead, be a good mom.These are some of the responses from mothers when I asked them what was their favorite part of being a mother:
– I love the cuddles.
– I love the way my child follows me.
– I love the hugs.
– I love the way my child makes me laugh.
– From the mom of a nine week old baby: “I love the way she started looking at me and I see the sparkle in her eyes and then she smiles at me. It melts my heart.”
– “I love the way my child lights up when I come in the door from work.”

Moms, you are a hero to your child and you do not need to be perfect. Your child loves you the way you are.

Relax.

Enjoy being a mom.

Helping Babies Sleep