Gentle Touch Sleep Time

San Francisco sleep consultant sleep, newborn sleep, pediatric sleep, helping babies sleep, toddlers sleep, bedtime, bedtime routines, SIDS, pediatric sleep, crying, exhausted, Arlene Fryling, Gentle Touch Sleep Time,

Make Bedtime Early for Your Child

I recently had a dad tell me that he likes to keep his 4 year old son up to watch movies with him on the weekend until 11 or 12 PM.

A store employee told me about her frustration with parents in the store at 9 PM with children who are crying or running up and down the aisles yelling.

blog11Should a child who is older than 4 months have the same bedtime as the adult?      No

Each child needs their own bedtime from the age of 4 months. Children require more sleep than adults do. The growing body and brain need more hours of sleep for all the learning and development to happen.

At four months children are going to need about 14 hours of sleep per day. Three to five-year old children need 11 to 13 hours of sleep. School-age children continue to need 10 to 12 hours of sleep each night.

The early bedtime allows a child will receive the correct amount of sleep their body needs. A well-rested child is able to  learn and retain that learning.  Lack of sleep makes it difficult for a child to control their behavior, impulses and emotions. Sleep deprivation leads to behavior problems.

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The sleep clock of a child is biologically set for an early bedtime. Sleep that is in sync with the body clock will restore and reset the body and brain. A consistent bedtime supports the body clock. The child will feel tired at bedtime and anticipate sleep. When you follow a regular routine and time for sleep the child will want to sleep rather than fighting it

Late bedtime leads to high Cortisol levels.

A late bedtime misses the body clock time when the body was preparing for sleep. The body temperature drops and chemical changes happen in the body at the correct time to sleep. If sleep does not happen when the body was preparing, the body responds by releasing Cortisol. Cortisol is a stimulant and wakes the child up.  Cortisol in an overtired child looks like they “received a second wind”. They become “hyper” and tend to run around and act out of control. The child will misbehave, whine, and be irritable. Children are prone to injury because their skills and judgement are impaired while in that overtired state. Research shows lack of adequate sleep “has been associated with increased levels of impulsivity, peer victimization, and social inhibition in kindergarten children. ” The high level of cortisol makes sleep difficult for the child. Cortisol stimulants the child to stay active and moving, the opposite of going to sleep.  It will cause the child to  wake up frequently during the night and  wake early in the morning. The elevated cortisol level interferes with sleep at every stage of the sleep process.

A chronically overtired child has a chronic high cortisol level. Depending on the extent of the over tiredness, it may take days or weeks to correct their lack of sleep. This chronic condition leads to behavior problems, learning difficulties and  various health issues. Adequate sleep is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

I worked with one family with a two year old going to bed at 10 PM, waking many times during the night and refusing naps. It was challenging to talk with the parents because the child was running, jumping on furniture and making a lot of noise. I coached the parents to help their son get the sleep he desperately needed. When I returned to their house a few weeks later he seemed like a different child. This time the only interruptions were hugs from him while I was talking with his parents. Their little guy was enjoyable to be around. Correct sleep turned him into an amazing little boy.

An early bedtime leads to a happier, well-rested child.

The solution is to chose a bedtime according to the child’s age and make that bedtime consistent and a priority in your life.

Helping Babies Sleep

The secret of having a child who sleeps well

Consistency is the secret if you want your child to sleep well. Consistency in the timing and place of sleep will begin to build healthy sleep habits. Your child needs to depend on your consistent response in how you handle their sleep.

When I talk with pregnant families they are all hoping for a baby that is a good sleeper. Unfortunately, babies are not born knowing how to get to sleep or stay asleep. We probably have all heard the phrase “sleeping like a baby”. I do not know who made that phrase up. My guess is they never had a baby. A newborn does not know how to get to sleep. Newborn sleep is very disorganized in length and timing. The parents are exhausted because the baby is not sleeping.

Sleep is a skill which every child needs to learn. There are certain ages when the ability to sleep develops in the brain. How the parent responds to those changes in the child, determines what the child learns.

A consistent response teaches the child how to handle sleep. For example, if you rock your child to sleep, they will expect to be rocked to sleep each time they are tired. Our children learn to anticipate what will happen after a certain action.

Choose carefully what consistent behavior you are doing to get your child to sleep because you are building a habit in your child. Is this something you want to live with long-term?

Consistency will help your child sleep well.

1) I encourage the families I work with to choose a consistent bedtime routine. A bedtime routine is doing the same thing in the same order, every bedtime. The bedtime routine tells your child that sleep is coming next. Their body begins to anticipate sleep.

2) Keep the place of sleep consistent. After the age of 12 weeks, all sleep should be in the child’s bed. The child associates their crib with sleep. The child does not have to figure out where they are because the crib is familiar to them.

3) Keep the timing of sleep consistent. Bedtime and naps should  happen at a similar time each day. There can be small fluctuations in the timing of sleep, but it should be close to the same time each day. Every child has a body clock which is set by the sun. Connect sleep time to their body’s desires to sleep. After 4 months of age, a child’s body is programmed for an early bedtime. Trying to push bedtime too late will lead to an over-tired child who fights sleep.

An example of this would be a toddler who consistently goes to bed at 7:30 PM each night. As the clock gets close to 7:30 PM the child feels tired and their body wants to sleep. The child’s biological clock and their consistent sleep habit makes the child desire sleep. Bedtime is less likely to turn into a battle. The end of the day can be enjoyable

4) During the night wakings parents should respond in a consistent way. Choose what habits you are building into your child. Think beyond the moment of what will work and whether or not you want this to happen every night.
Feed a hungry child, but not every wake up is for hunger. If you rock your child every time they wake during the night, the child will expect that. Keep in mind the age of your child, whether they can handle their own waking or need your intervention.

Contact me for help getting your child sleeping well.

Build consistency into sleep for your child. Your child will reward you by being that great sleeper you dreamed about.