Sleep is like a Puzzle

June 23, 2015

Some of our children seem to fall into a good sleep pattern without much effort. The easy child goes to sleep without a whimper and sleeps through the night at a very young age. We wonder what we did right!

Then there are the other children who seem to fight sleep in every possible way. It is difficult to get the child to sleep and then multiple times per night the child is calling for you. Parent and child get more and more exhausted.

What is the answer? Unfortunately there is not an easy answer. I think sleep is like a puzzle. You must fit all the right pieces together to help that child sleep well.

What are the pieces?

1. The age of the child makes a difference. Sleep changes as our children grow and develop. For a newborn, sleep is very disorganized. At about 8 weeks the night sleep begins to lengthen. At 16 weeks the naps consolidate and more adult type sleep cycles develop. We have to adjust to the growing child’s sleep needs.

2. Timing of sleep is important. The body develops a circadian rhythm at 16 weeks which means the body has time periods when it wants to sleep and times when the body wants to be awake. It is necessary to coordinate sleep with the times the body desires sleep.

3. The sleep environment needs to be conducive to sleep. We want the child to associate their bed with sleep. The bedroom should promote sleep for the child, not a play area.

4. What happens during the awake time determines what sleep time is like. The child must have proper nutrition whether that is nursing, formula or solid food. Sleep is effected by having time in the sun to help set their body clock. Activity during their awake time is necessary, but the child needs some calming activity prior to sleep.

5. Sleep leads to more sleep. How well the naps went effects how the night time sleep goes. Good naps lead to good nights.

6. Each child is an individual. Each child has their own likes and dislikes. Children have their own personality which affects sleep. Some children can easily handle changes in their life and other children resist any change in their schedule. Some children do not want to stop the fun activities of the day to sleep.

7. Parents have their own parenting style. We all approach parenting in a different way. There is not one right way to parent. Sometimes our parenting approach for one child might not work for our second child.

Fitting all these pieces together leads to good healthy sleep. It can be tricky to know how to do that. An educated and experienced sleep consultant can guide you through the process to help you find the optimum sleeping situation for your little one.

http://www.gentletouchsleeptime.com/contact-me/

Helping Babies Sleep

Arlene Fryling

Arlene is a registered nurse and certified sleep consultant for children 0-5 years. She has cared for premature, sick, and many healthy babies. For over 15 years she has taught expectant parents how to care for their newborns through classes teaching basic baby care, infant massage classes, and moderating support groups for new moms as they deal with parenting issues.

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Testimonials

Alix Kron

★★★★★

4 months ago

We cannot say enough positive things about our experience working with Arlene!! We were desperate for sleep, going almost 5.5 months with frequent wake ups, nursing back to sleep, nonstop crying during the day, screaming in the car and becoming more and more hopeless as time went on without having success … Arlene changed all of that within no time. She listened to exactly what was going on for us, developed a sleep plan specific to our daughter’s needs/our goals and was so supportive and answered all of our questions along the way. It was very easy to follow the plan that she developed and it included naps and weaning off of night feedings. We saw a difference in our daughter almost immediately! Arlene has absolutely transformed our lives and given us the ability to enjoy each other and feel so much better getting the sleep we all want and NEED! Our daughter is now sleeping 11-12 hours per night, eating only once overnight as opposed to every 1-2 hours, is on a great nap schedule and is so much happier!!! It’s the best money we’ve spent.

Adrienne G.

★★★★★

2 years ago

We worked with Arlene to sleep train our 22 month old son who had been bed sharing and nursing to sleep. She helped us develop a sleep plan that was specific to our son's needs. It addressed both his nighttime sleep and his naps. It really took the guess work out of the endeavor, because as a parent, even if you read all the sleep books, there are many different opinions and it is hard to know what is right. Arlene was attentive, flexible and available to answer all of our questions and concerns. I would highly recommend working with her! Our son now sleeps 11-12 hours a night and put himself to sleep on his own. Sleep training him has been a game changer for me (I sleep now too!) and for him. He seems well rested and his development seems to be progressing faster now too. His language skills are flourishing since he is getting better rest.

Amanda C

★★★★★

4 years ago

We just wrapped up our second time working with Arlene, and had another great experience! Arlene helped us sleep train our first baby a few years ago when she was 4 months old at the time. She was a terrible sleeper, waking up once every hour and needing to be rocked to sleep for what felt like hours and hours each day. I was a stressed, exhausted, and worried first time mom, and I was drawn to Arlene’s calm and experienced approach. She gave us an option for a gentler strategy that worked for us at the time, and was detailed and responsive in her sleep plan and attentiveness. Our daughter just turned 2.5 years old and is still a great sleeper. So once our second baby turned 4 months recently, we did not hesitate to work with Arlene again. We now have two rockstar sleepers in our household, thanks to Arlene! It means the world to us that she was there to help guide us, instill confidence, and most importantly, help teach our children such a valuable skill they will undoubtedly benefit from for the rest of their lives.

Begoña Cirera

★★★★★

2 years ago

Arlene helped me first with my first son who was 2.5 year old when I hired her. He slept with me during breastfeeding. He never wanted to sleep in his crib. I was due with my second, and I needed better rest, and had no clue how to get him to sleep away from my bed. I even had to sleep w him during naps, or he wouldn’t sleep. I had to walk him for hours to fall asleep every night. It was awful. Two weeks after Arlene helped us create a program for him, he was done!!! He was sleeping in his own room, all night (12+ hours) and he was SO HAPPY during the day. We learned so much, and all made so much sense. After trying methods and books, nothing worked. My son is almost 6, and he falls asleep at 7:30pm every evening, until 7:00am. As a parent, you know how precious those hours are. With my second one, I didn’t make the mistake of waiting until he was two to train him to sleep. By 3 months, we slowly started, with Arlene’s help. I never had to walk him or be there for him to fall asleep. He’s now 3, and he is a great sleeper, much better than his big brother ever was, still takes 90-min naps, and sleeps 11 hours a night. Every penny I spent to hire Arlene’s expertise is worth it. My only regret was not to look for her sooner. Lifesaver, 100%.

Abbey Stidam

★★★★★

6 years ago

Arlene Fryling at Gentle Touch Sleep Time helped our son sleep, which helped us sleep! We were having trouble transitioning our son (4 months at the time) from his rock-n-play to the crib and our amazing sleeper since birth was all of a sudden not sleeping very much. Arlene talked with us about what was going on with his sleep and why the change in his sleep pattern. She answered all our questions and calmed our worries and frustrations. She came up with a sleep plan that worked for our family. She guided us every step of the way. He is now an amazing sleeper again! He is 18 months old and sleeps 12 hours at night and takes a 1 1/2 - 2 hour nap. He loves to sleep and never fights sleeping. I am so thankful we had Arlene Fryling help us and we were able to teach our son to sleep.