Blog Archives - Gentle Touch Sleep Time

August 16, 2018

Make Bedtime Early for Your Child

I recently had a dad tell me that he likes to keep his 4 year old son up to watch movies with him on the weekend until 11 or 12 PM.

A store employee told me about her frustration with parents in the store at 9 PM with children who are crying or running up and down the aisles yelling.

Should a child who is older than 4 months have the same bedtime as the adult? No

Each child needs their own bedtime from the age of 4 months. Children require more sleep than adults do. The growing body and brain need more hours of sleep for all the learning and development to happen.

At four months children are going to need about 14 hours of sleep per day. Three to five-year old children need 11 to 13 hours of sleep. School-age children continue to need 10 to 12 hours of sleep each night.

The early bedtime allows a child will receive the correct amount of sleep their body needs. A well-rested child is able to learn and retain that learning. Lack of sleep makes it difficult for a child to control their behavior, impulses and emotions. Sleep deprivation leads to behavior problems.

The sleep clock of a child is biologically set for an early bedtime. Sleep that is in sync with the body clock will restore and reset the body and brain. A consistent bedtime supports the body clock. The child will feel tired at bedtime and anticipate sleep. When you follow a regular routine and time for sleep the child will want to sleep rather than fighting it

Late bedtime leads to high Cortisol levels.

A late bedtime misses the body clock time when the body was preparing for sleep. The body temperature drops and chemical changes happen in the body at the correct time to sleep. If sleep does not happen when the body was preparing, the body responds by releasing Cortisol. Cortisol is a stimulant and wakes the child up. Cortisol in an overtired child looks like they “received a second wind”. They become “hyper” and tend to run around and act out of control. The child will misbehave, whine, and be irritable. Children are prone to injury because their skills and judgement are impaired while in that overtired state. Research shows lack of adequate sleep “has been associated with increased levels of impulsivity, peer victimization, and social inhibition in kindergarten children. ” The high level of cortisol makes sleep difficult for the child. Cortisol stimulants the child to stay active and moving, the opposite of going to sleep. It will cause the child to wake up frequently during the night and wake early in the morning. The elevated cortisol level interferes with sleep at every stage of the sleep process.

A chronically overtired child has a chronic high cortisol level. Depending on the extent of the over tiredness, it may take days or weeks to correct their lack of sleep. This chronic condition leads to behavior problems, learning difficulties and various health issues. Adequate sleep is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

I worked with one family with a two year old going to bed at 10 PM, waking many times during the night and refusing naps. It was challenging to talk with the parents because the child was running, jumping on furniture and making a lot of noise. I coached the parents to help their son get the sleep he desperately needed. When I returned to their house a few weeks later he seemed like a different child. This time the only interruptions were hugs from him while I was talking with his parents. Their little guy was enjoyable to be around. Correct sleep turned him into an amazing little boy.

An early bedtime leads to a happier, well-rested child.

The solution is to chose a bedtime according to the child’s age and make that bedtime consistent and a priority in your life.

Helping Babies Sleep

July 24, 2018

Baby Number Two

Exciting News! You are going to have another baby!

As a second-time parent you probably have a lot of emotions about having another child. You are not alone, your number one child is going to have a lot of thoughts, feelings and emotions about becoming a sibling. Those emotions for your child might be happy, excited, scared, or even angry. How can you prevent sibling rivalry?

Wikipedia defines #sibling rivalry as:
Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among siblings, whether blood related or not.

I heard one pediatrician say that if you have two or more children in a family, you have sibling rivalry.

Child number one might be excited about becoming the “Big Brother” or the “Big Sister”. At the same time child number one might be confused about what this is going to mean in his/her life.
Will mom and dad still love me?
Do I have to share my toys or my room or my bed?
Will mom and dad still play with me?
How long will this baby stay?

My two-year old daughter went on a “hunger strike”, refusing to eat when her brother was 3 weeks old and she finally understood that he was not leaving.

Another daughter, at age five, said about our new baby, “I don’t get what the big deal is about babies. Why does everyone want to see the baby?”

Sometimes our children do not know how to deal with the confusing feelings they are experiencing. They love that little baby, but the baby also feels like competition.

It is a huge adjustment for child number one. We cannot shield or protect our children from having strong feelings and emotions. Our children are going to have conflicting feelings about their sibling for the rest of their life. There will be times of great love for their sibling and there will be times of jealousy, resentment and competition. It is part of being a sibling.
Our job as parents is to teach our children how to deal with those feelings and emotions. Yes, we want our children to love each other, but we need to acknowledge and not be afraid of their feelings about their sibling – positive or negative.

As parents, we set the tone for the siblings. Do not encourage competition between siblings. Do not compare your children. Each child is unique from the other. Emphasize that your whole family is a team. Each member is important to make the team function well. Express how proud you are of the older child and what they can do.

Teach number one child to embrace being older and the benefits that come with being older. An older child has the privilege of “big kid” toys, being a “helper”, having a special activity or game with mom and/or dad.
Reassure your child of your love. As it has been said, parents don’t divide their love; they multiply it. Tell your child that you have enough love for each of your children and will love child number one always. Don’t forget to give lots of hugs and kisses.

Sibling relationships teach important skills for dealing with people throughout life. Siblings learn how to deal with someone they don’t agree with, how to share with others and how to wait your turn while someone else has their needs met. Siblings learn that other people have feelings and wants and needs. Sibling relationships are a great place for children to learn to love, care for and stand up for each other.

If you need help putting siblings into the same room or transferring a child from the crib to a bed, contact me for a 15-minute “Get Acquainted” call to discuss how I can help you.

May 22, 2018

Why Sleep ?

Everyone needs sleep to be healthy. Our bodies and brains need restorative sleep to keep every system functioning well. Sleep should be a priority for parents and children.

Sleep restores the brain

When you are exhausted, it is a struggle to think clearly. The brain needs sleep to function well. I know from my own experience that sleepless nights (usually caused by the many babies I have cared for) make me feel dull. My thoughts feel like they are trying to move through thick mud. Sleep experts recommend not to make any life-changing decisions such as job transfers or major purchases when you are sleep-deprived. You will have difficulty seeing the possible consequences of a decision.

toddler sleeping wearing seat belt in booster seat

Sometimes I hear desperate parents tell me they drive around to help their baby sleep in the car. I do not recommend that. If the child is not sleeping well, most likely the parent is not sleeping much either. An exhausted parent is at risk of falling asleep while driving or of having very poor driving judgment.

AAA did a research study on the effects of driving while sleep deprived. ” The AAA study found drivers who miss two to three hours of sleep a day more than quadruple their risk of getting in a crash, compared to drivers who sleep for seven hours.” I had a one sleep deprived, but wise Dad, tell me that he started using public transportation to get to work because he did not trust himself driving.

Lack of sleep also effects the mental ability of children. A sleep deprived baby has difficulty thinking and learning. Every baby processes a lot of new information each day. Learning moves into long-term memory during sleep. It is difficult for an exhausted child to learn and then remember the numerous skills they must master in their first couple of years. Learning becomes a struggle for a tired child.

Studies have shown that sleep promotes brain development in babies. We all want our baby to be smart. The best way for that to become a reality is to make sleep a priorty for your baby.

Sleep restores the body

Lack of sleep causes health problems for adults and children. Body systems have many functions they can only perform during sleep. The body needs sleep time to restore and repair itself. Research connects sleep deprivation to health issues like heart attacks, high blood pressure, strokes, depressed immune system, and obesity in adults.

A child’s body grows during sleep. I recently worked with two different families because their babies were waking frequently. A tired child cannot eat well. Both of these babies would only eat if they were partially asleep. Each baby fell asleep after eating a small amount to satisfy their hunger. The babies ate enough to survive but not to grow.

I worked with both families to help their baby sleep better. The rested babies had more energy and their eating improved. One baby gained 2 pounds within 3 weeks! The parents and doctor were thrilled. The other baby went from eating one ounce per frequent feedings to eating 4 ounces every 3-4 hours.

Lack of sleep depresses the function of the immune system. A strong immune system fights the germs and viruses a child is exposed to. Well-rested children do not get sick as frequently.

Do your child and yourself a favor by making sleep a priority. Exhaustion is not fun or healthy for either the parent or the child.