Gentle Touch Sleep Time

San Francisco sleep consultant sleep, newborn sleep, pediatric sleep, helping babies sleep, toddlers sleep, bedtime, bedtime routines, SIDS, pediatric sleep, crying, exhausted, Arlene Fryling, Gentle Touch Sleep Time,

Toddlers Want To Sleep

toddler loves to sleep

This week I saw a little two-year-old ask her mom if she could “go nap”. She went happily to her bed, snuggled up with her blanket and favorite stuffed animal. She slept for 2 hours and woke up happy and smiling!

Our toddlers want to sleep. It feels amazing to be well-rested. 

Our children love to wake up full of energy and happy. Having enough sleep is an amazing feeling and well-rested children learn to love it.

Yes, it is possible to have a child ask for sleep. It shows the child has begun to recognize the feeling of being tired and that the solution is sleep. What a joy to have a two-year-old that asks for a nap instead of a two-year-old that screams and fights a nap or bedtime.

Dealing with life is difficult while feeling tired.

Children (and adults) become grumpy when they are tired. Toddler emotions are big and challenging for every toddler to manage. If you are the parent of a two-year-old you have seen your child throw a temper tantrum or have a “meltdown”. Those big toddler emotions are much more difficult for a tired child to control. A tired toddler is miserable and makes sure everyone knows it. Toddlers want to sleep to make them feel happy.

How do you get a well-rested child who willingly goes to bed?

   1.Timing

The timing of sleep is very important. We all have a body clock which is set by the sun. There are times the body prepares for sleep and times the body prepares for awake time. The body prepares through chemical and temperature changes. Sleep is much easier when it is connected with the body preparation. Sleep connected with the body clock does a better job of restoring the body and brain. This sleep is more refreshing and restorative.

When sleep follows a similar schedule each day, the body begins to anticipate sleep. If you have a regular bedtime for your toddler of 7 PM; their body will begin to anticipate sleep at 7 PM. This helps the toddler be ready for sleep instead of fighting bedtime.

   2. Place

Motion sleep in the car or stroller keeps the child in light sleep. It prevents the deep, restorative sleep. Sleep is more restorative when the child is sleeping in their bed. They have the freedom to position and move their body to find what is comfortable when in their bed.

The sleep environment should contribute to sleep. I recommend a dark place for sleep because it contributes to the release of the “go to sleep” hormones. It is helpful to have white noise. The familiar sound becomes associated in their brain with sleep. Plus the white noise helps to block out other sounds which might wake your child.

  3. Process

We are all creatures of habit. We need a familiar process to prepare for sleep. It sends a message to our bodies that it is time to sleep. I encourage a specific routine before bedtime and a shorter routine prior to naps.

It is good to have a calming time prior to sleep. Don’t expect your child to go from running and jumping straight to sleeping.

Turn off all screens at least 30 minutes before sleep. The blue lights from screens wake up the brain.  The body and brain need some preparation for sleep.

4. Teach

Sleep is a skill for children to learn. Each child needs to learn to go from the awake state to the sleep state without assistance. Learning to manage their own sleep is a necessary skill for life. Your assistance to put your child to sleep is not sustainable.

Rock a child to sleep and they will sleep for an hour but teach a child to sleep and they will sleep all night.

Toddlers want to sleep. It helps them feel independent when they can go to sleep without assistance and continue their sleep through the night.

Helping Babies Sleep

School Performance Impacted by Sleep

tools for school performance

School performance is significantly impacted by the amount and quality of your child’s sleep

Nutrition, exercise, and sleep are necessary to be healthy and able to learn. If your child is falling asleep or yawning in class or while doing their homework, your child is not getting enough sleep. Other signs of inadequate sleep are grouchiness, short attention span, impulsiveness, and trouble learning. The National Sleep Foundation says our elementary school children, ages 5-12, need 10-11 hours of sleep per night.  Adjust your child’s bedtime to provide the correct number of hours of sleep. School starts at a predictable time each day. Sleeping late in the morning is not an option.

The quality and quantity of sleep determine learning and retention of that learning. Clinical psychologist Reut Gruber, director of the Attention Behavior and Sleep Lab at the Douglas Research Center in Quebec, Canada, led a research team examining the sleep of children. and wrote:

“According to a study, children with reduced sleep are more likely to struggle with verbal creativity, problem solving, inhibiting their behaviour, and generally score lower on IQ tests according to current leading research.  In addition, another study has shown that students who had grades of C, D, or E averaged 25 to 30 minutes less sleep per weeknight than their classmates who achieved A’s or B’s.”

The studies by Dr. Gruber research team have shown that children who do not have an adequate amount of sleep have a stronger chance of low or failing grades in school. Math and language courses require the use of memory, sequencing and reasoning;  all are functions of the pre-frontal cortex of the brain which is most vulnerable to lack of sleep.

The brain needs sleep time to take the learning from the previous day and move it into long-term memory. The deep portion of the sleep cycle is required to improve the retention of learning from the previous day.

Sleep-deprived children have more difficulty controlling their emotions and impulses

We all tend to get grouchy when we are overtired. Sleep-deprived children can be emotional and impulsive leading to problems in the classroom and on the playground. Lack of sleep contributes to a short attention span.  A tired child has great difficulty with making more than one attempt at a difficult task.

Academic and behavioral school performance is impacted by the child’s sleep.

My five sleep habits to help children succeed in school 

1. Consistent bedtime and wake-up time

The same bedtime each night sets the body’s 24-hour rhythm. The bedtime chosen should allow the child to receive the recommended 10-11 hours of sleep per night. Most elementary school-age children need an early bedtime of 7:30 to 8 PM.

A consistent bedtime will teach the child’s body to anticipate and be ready for sleep. Make sleep a priority by making their bedtime a priority.

2. Bedtime Routine

Twenty to thirty minutes before bedtime is preparation for sleep. What happens prior to sleep has an impact on the quality of the sleep.

The blue lights from TV, pads and smartphone screens wakes the brain up. Stop all screen viewing for a minimum of 30 minutes prior to bedtime.

Plan so that dinner is finished about 2 hours prior to bedtime. Sleep is the opportunity for the digestive system to rest also. The process of digesting a big meal when going to bed will make sleep more difficult.

Avoid caffeine about six hours prior to bedtime. Caffeine tends to wake the brain up and leads to light sleep or no sleep.

Develop a routine to follow each night before bed. It might include a bath, pajamas, and reading a book together or alone.

3. Bedroom environment

Make the sleep environment very dark. Use room darkening shades or curtains to keep the room dark in the evening or early morning. Do not allow any screen devices in their bedroom as they wake up the brain and interfere with sleep. Their bedroom should be boring and look like a dark cave.

The temperature of the room should be between 67 and 72 degrees.

4. White noise

Background or white noise blocks the other sounds of your house or neighborhood which might interrupt your child’s sleep.

Place the white nosie machine about 5 feet from your child to protect their hearing. A fan can also be used for white noise.

5. Sleep is a privilege

Sleep is just as important as food for your child. Teach your child to value their sleep. Each child should look forward to sleep at the end of their day.

Have a healthy sleeping and learning school year for your children!

 

PostPartum Depression is Common and Normal

Postpartum depression is more prevalent than we realize. Research says that one out of five new mothers deals with some degree of it. Postpartum depression is common and normal. It is very treatable. It is OK to talk about it.

Many times the birth process and then the nursing and caring for their baby is not quite what the mother imagined. Reality rarely turns out like the envisioned picture in mom’s head during pregnancy. She could be struggling with feelings of disappointment. Life changes dramatically when the new baby arrives. Caring for a baby is non-stop for 24 hours a day, every day.

Some mothers are afraid to admit they feel sad or discouraged or inadequate following the birth of their baby. They think everyone expects them to be happy. It can feel like a huge burden to deal with those feelings while presenting a happy face to others.

Following the birth of a baby, the mother’s body goes through many adjustments. The mother is tired from the birth process and the physical job to care for the baby. Changing hormone levels affect emotions also.  Add the lack of sleep at night and maybe a lack of sunshine from gloomy weather, especially during the winter months, to a new mother’s hormone changes and you have a recipe for depression.

Some, but not all of the symptoms of postpartum depression are:
sadness
hopelessness
guilt
feeling overwhelmed
becoming easily frustrated
low or no energy
inability to be comforted

If mom is having thoughts of hurting herself or the baby: seek help immediately.

Treatment for mild postpartum depression:
1.) Exposure to sunlight improves mild postpartum depression. A walk around the block improves the mood of a tired new mom. Exposing the eyes to daylight, even on a cloudy day, helps reset the body’s clock. It affects the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone. This will help the baby and mom sleep better.

2) Newborn sleep is disorganized and changes every day during the first twelve weeks. Between the short sleep times and the frequent feedings, it is challenging for mom to get the rest she needs. Encourage family members or friends to give mom an opportunity to sleep. It is much easier for her to cope when rested.

3) Support is beneficial to new moms. There is a significant decrease in postpartum depression if the mother has at least one support person in her life on a daily or weekly basis. It is helpful to find a mother and baby support group to be able to talk about all the issues of caring for a new baby or to connect with other new mothers. Many hospitals provide mother and baby support groups.

Moms, don’t be afraid to tell your support persons what your needs are. Many people want to help you but do not know how to do that. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. You need to be cared for so you can care for your baby. If you are feeling sadness and depression, it is not your fault. Please do not blame yourself. It is treatable.

Support people, make sure you check on how mom is feeling and watch mom for signs of stress. Ask mom, “How are you doing?” “How are you really feeling?” “It is OK to feel you can’t handle everything right now.”

If the feelings of depression continue longer than two weeks or get worse, it is important to talk to your doctor. Sometimes medication is used temporarily for the treatment of postpartum depression. You can find help where you live.

I work with families to help them get the maximum amount of sleep during those early newborn days and beyond. A baby that sleeps well is a happier baby, which leads to a well-rested and happier mother.

Helping Babies Sleep